Skip to main content


Luc Besson’s new sci-fi adventure film is a big gorgeous mess. I say this with a lot of appreciation and frustration - for what might have been. 

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is based on a series of French graphic novels called Valerian and Laureline. The film begins with the destruction of a beautiful planet called Mül which is inhabited by a peaceful and simple humanoid race. While a small group of survivors escapes the destruction, one of those who didn’t make it is able, before she dies, to send a part of herself (soul?) to the sleeping Valerian (played by Dane DeHaan), a young human police officer in a giant city in space called Alpha. When Valerian awakes from the dream, in which he sees the destruction of Mül, he learns that his new mission is to recover the last Mül converter from a black market dealer. The Mül converter is actually a small creature that can produces dozens more of whatever it is fed. With his partner, Laureline (Cara Delevingne), with whom he is in love, Valerian is able to complete the mission, but this has consequences he and Laureline could never have imagined, with conspiracies to combat and  the genocide of an entire species on the line.

Along the way, we meet such characters as The President of the World State Federation (Rutger Hauer), Valerian’s commanding officer, Arün Filit (Clive Owen), a shapeshifting entertainer named Bubble (Rihanna), Jolly the Pimp (Ethan Hawke) and the galaxy’s most wanted criminal, voiced by John Goodman. Most of these are barely more than cameos, but they’re all fun to watch. Unfortunately, they may be more fun to watch than our two protagonists, whose acting is only barely adequate (DeHaan in particular is a questionable casting choice). 

But then again, there is so much insane action in Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, and so little character development, that perhaps it would be impossible to do a convincing portrayal of the protagonists. The action is the film’s biggest handicap, filling so much time with pointless chases and stupid violence (which would have required an R rating if it hadn’t been for the alien blood) that the intriguing story at the film’s core is all but lost. As a result, the film’s first half hour and last half hour are actually very entertaining and even profound, while the 75 minutes in between is almost a complete waste of time (and so boring for me).

That intriguing story concerns the survivors from Mül (add another l and you have the German word for ‘garbage’, which may be something to think about). To me, this story seemed like an obvious allegory about colonialism, the genocide of Indigenous peoples and even capitalism. Unfortunately, this story is overwhelmed by all the craziness Valerian and Laureline get involved in before they meet the Mül. So sad. 

So in spite of the absolutely gorgeous CGI cinematography, the great cameos and the powerful story at its core, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets gets only ***. My mug is up, but the stuff inside could have been so much more delicious. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Star Wars: Rogue One Trailer 2

During the Olympics, a new trailer for Star Wars: Rogue One was revealed. And it is phenomenal! Now this is how you make a trailer. There is almost nothing that spoilers the film, or at least not without context. Take note studios, this is how you make a trailer! And all the scenes of the Imperials look incredible. Even though it is CGI, the Star Destroyers look just like the original models used in Star Wars (1977). The tone is serious and war movie-like, yet not dark for the sake of darkness. Alan Tudyk plays humorously deadpan droid, K-2SO, and Donnie Yen looks absolutely awesome (seriously, go watch the Ip Man trilogy to understand why). Everything about this trailer makes me excited for Rogue One! And after an abysmal and disappointing summer of movies, Rogue One is what we need to redeem a slow year by December. What did you think of the trailer? Please comment below and check back soon for my review of Suicide Squad! If you want to contact us or have any questions pleas...

Suicide Squad Review

Panned by critics, praised by fanboys, and breaking box office records, Suicide Squad is yet another divisive film from DC! Wow, now this is one difficult review to write. Walking into the theater without a single notion of the abysmal critical response helped to remove the bias of expecting to tear it apart. In fact, walking to the truck after movie, I was thoroughly entertained and had a great time. But that does not mean I necessarily disagree with the consensus. Honestly, if DC just cannot make quality superhero flicks, a small part of me just wants their movies to fail so hard that it kills the franchise, so as stop oversaturating the superhero genre. Of course, by making so much money regardless of what people say, that is not happening anytime soon. Let's get back to the film itself. If you hate Suicide Squad, that's fine by me; it is completely understandable. In many ways, it does deserve the panning t. DC just cannot get their stuff together no matter how hard they tr...

Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS Episode 29 & 30

After Episode 29 recap (AGAIN~), Episode 30 comes in swinging!!!!!! AND HOLY SHIT. THAT WAS INTENSE. It was slow, quiet, yet incredibly ominous episode, but boy did we get a lot of action!!! Man, Ghost Girl is in deep deep trouble. I was pretty much screaming at my screen, “GET OUT OF THERE!!!” There is no way she is getting out of there “alive! If she does fall here, the fault lies in her greed and desire to play with fire. In fact it would be rather an ironic, yet fitting way for her to fall. The woman is a cocky trickster, and it was only a matter of time before she would get burned. But I will give mad props just seeing for once, a character actually recognizing the situation is too dangerous, and their best option would be to retreat. Unfortunately for Ghost Girl, Revolver knows how to make his place secured, trapping her inside where her only option left is to defeat him. Revolver ain’t gonna fall for your cutesy tricks Yet at the same time, Ghost Girl also very well ma...